The mother-in-law and son-in-law are two people who are united by the native to both personality, but it is probably all that they have in common. The fact that these people are hard to get along together know everything and know this is not the first decade. In the world of humor, there is the same countless jokes about the mother-in-law, as well as about blondes. Of course, there are lucky people who manage to find a common language with his wife's first time, but there are those who still cannot establish relationships with her.

A young family has very shaky borders. And the more oil in the fire poured people from their environment, the more the newlyweds are less likely to survive with the first family crises, becoming more stronger. For each person, in whatever relations with their parents, they play an important role. No matter how many children were for children, parents will always try to make their advice in their personal life, despite the fact that their chad has their own head on their shoulders, and he refers to the adoption of vital decisions with awareness.

Relationships of mother-in-law and son-in-law

Men who feel that the beloved mother-in-law is happy for choosing her husband with her daughter and, while easily manage to get along with his wife's mom, not so little. But those who are every day listening to that he always does something wrong, much more. Consider the reasons for conflicts in relations between the mother-in-law and son-in-law and try to understand why the mother-in-law in most cases is configured against the son-in-law.

The son-in-law, mother-in-law, as well as their relationship - is, as you know, one of the most popular characters and plots of numerous jokes, the essence of which is reduced to the fact that these people have always been and will be irreconcilable opponents. By the way, if you paid attention, we noticed that the tests, mother-in-law and other acquired relatives, humorous mentions in a juicy anecdical form are much less common.

So what is the case, is it really a relationship between the son-in-law and the eternal times are doomed to be a source of incredit headache for themselves and for their closest environment? Maybe there are some methods and methods in order to go from the "military confrontation" to the mode of "peaceful coexistence"? The question, by the way, is absolutely not joking, so we intend to consider it in this article with the highest possible seriousness.

Good relations of son-in-law and mother-in-law - are they possible?

The answer is unequivocal - yes, it is possible, but when performing some necessary conditions, the main of which is the ability of the son-in-law to show their organizing male start and send the process to the right direction. Of course, that's general ruleAnd it applies not only to relationships with a mother-in-law, but equally and with his wife, and with colleagues on the work of a female, and in general with all women with whom a man intersects one way or another on his life path.

It should be understood that mother-in-law, with all its ambitions, possible scholars, rich in vital experience and an indomitance desire to lead the life of his daughter with her husband - this is just an ordinary woman with all the consequences, including those who have two typical female qualities that Alas, do not contribute to the world and harmony in relations with the son-in-law.

What female qualities are we talking about? First, it is excessive emotionality, thanks to which the flame of a global fire may flash from any accidentally arising spark. Secondly, it is a typical female inability to arrange questions according to the degree of importance, according to priorities, i.e. remembering the original sources, separating the grains from the whores, and the lambs from goat. Of course, these qualities, unfortunately, can be inherent in some men, and in this case, the situation may be very more renegrined. But such is our male lot, as they say, took himself for a man - be good to constantly show the organizing male beginning, including in relationship with my mother's beloved wife.

Future relationships with the mother-in-law are formed before the wedding

Well, how do these relationships to form good, benevolent, and the possibilities are still mutually interested and mutually displeasing? As usual, using a well-known mathematical reception, we divide this fairly complex task to somewhat simpler and solve them consistently, and in the necessary cases and in parallel.

The main goal - the future son-in-law should show itself a potential mother-in-law as a reliable, responsible and decent companion of life for her daughter who intends to support benevolent and respectful relationship with all relatives of his wife, including her mother. Of course, there are quite a lot of ways and means for this, therefore we, given the article format, we will dwell only on the main thing.

1. Your intentions towards the girl. It is necessary to be clearly consecutable to the future mother-in-law, what do you plan to create a family after some time with her daughter, or, let's say you inform your mother's mother that you are currently in a romantic relationship, but the question of creating Families will be decided later, by mutual agreement. Keep in mind - women always need certainness!

2. The degree of your readiness for the creation of a family. This is also necessary to inform your girl's mom, since, first, it will testify to your responsible attitude to life, and secondly, the future son-in-law and himself will not interfere with once again look at this as if the eyes of another person. It should be noted at least, factors such as education, character professional activity and prospects career growth, the presence of additional sources of income (if available), housing security for the future family, health condition, as well as the attitude of the parents of a man for a future Snow. The remaining details - as needed.

3. Planning for future family life. Here should be the future mother-in-law of your vision of a living family life in the short, medium and long term, including: where your family will live, in which composition, on what sources of income (including periods of pregnancy and her care for young children) are planned Does professional growth for your future wife, how to build relationships with your relatives and relatives of the wife. Special attention - whether you expect financial or other assistance from the parents of the girl.

4. Conflipal communication with a girl. Conflict with young lady, in principle, unpleasant to any man, but such excesses for various reasons still happen. Believe me, your chosen's mom will be very careful to watch how skillfully you collapse such situations, whether you are allowed to insult to the girl, etc. Your ability to prevent quarrels, or, at worst, the ability to stop them quickly and without significant damage to the girl is a necessary condition for establishing friendly relations with her parents.

5. Friendly communication with family members. Here, too, everything is clear, without this factor, it is not necessary to count on the favor of future future. Try, the ability to get along with different people will be useful for you in all life situations.

And the last, but maybe the most important thing - In the process of a daughting communication with the parents of the girl, it is necessary to gradually and unobtrusively teach them to the idea that you will always be happy to consult with them on all important, and not very important issues, but the final decisions will always take only you yourself - t. e. You and your future wife (their daughter) together. If you can achieve mutual understanding in this matter - consider that your relationship from the mother-in-law is already largely established!

You can use it:

If the relations of the son-in-law and mother-in-law are formed in a friendly key in a trunk period, then after the wedding only remains to maintain them at the proper level and adjust certain deviations from the norm. At the same time, the following simple principles and opportunities can be used:

1. Systematic communication with his wife's mother. In modern conditions, this can be quite simply implemented both in cases of living your families within one settlement (personal meetings) and in cases of your residence in different cities and even countries (mobile communications).

2. Communication must be mutually pleasant. You can tell the mother-in-law about the pleasant details of your family's life (about his wife, about children, about your success and plans for the future) and even more - you can ask her opinion, consult her for some questions (even if If the draws are currently needed by the tips). In addition, it is always helpful to ask for a self-mood and mood of your interlocutor, how other members of her family are doing, whether she doesn't need any help from you with his wife, etc. - All this causes your wife's mother feeling a sense of involvement with the life of your family with all the consequences of positive consequences.

3. Congratulations and wishes. For women, this is generally a very important point, so do not be lazy to make a list of all the annual significant holidays for your mother-in-law and be sure to congratulate it so warm and mentally, as far as fantasy enough. Naturally, do not forget about interesting gifts, Give her pleasure to boast of these gifts and before working colleagues, and in front of the neighbors, and in front of all the other people turned up.

4. Joint leisure and entertainment. From time to time you can spend time with her parents not at the traditional household level (they have a meeting, or you), but on festive-cultural and entertainment. What is meant here? For example, if you invite mother-in-law to go along with you to the theater and take in advance the tickets, then you will start with the plus sign for a long time. Or you take tickets for an interesting football match (in coordination with the test) and go there in four together (together with my wives) - women, of course, will turn a little a little, but the festive atmosphere at the stadium will definitely deliver them a lot of positive emotions. That's somewhere so, in the first approximation.

5. Care and responsibility towards the family. This, of course, is the main factor to maintain and establish a good relationship with the parents of the wife, so you have to do this throughout the family life. But, in fact, these concerns should not be in a burden, because you love your family and wish her good, isn't it?

Good mother-in-law can only have a good son-in-law

And indeed it is. What does your wife's mom expect from you? To her daughter and grandchildren live in prosperity, in an atmosphere of love, harmony and happiness, which partly warmed her own life. Well, and who should all this provide? The answer is obvious - naturally, the husband of the daughter and father of grandchildren, i.e. Sit.

That's oddly enough, but in this case, your mother-in-law is completely right. Do not forget that your wife and her mother are women, with all their female complexes, emotions, not always fair words and not always suspended actions. Patience you, friends, forces and painstaking perseverance in achieving good relationships with your women!

It may come in handy:

That's all for now. The topic, of course, is quite complicated and bulky, but what you could read here is quite enough for some reflection, and for some specific actions. In any case, first.

And if there is a desire, you can get acquainted with another our thematically related article - how to choose a good wife, or see some possible poetic options on the wishes page in verses.

We wish you success!

When an employee of the registry office solemnly announced that from now on Ekaterina and Anatoly - her husband and wife, the eyes of faith Ivanovna moisturized (the names of the heroes of history were changed by ethical considerations. - Auth.) Now you can be calm: Her Katyusha arranged his fate. Say someone then a touched mother that in six months she will put a young son-in-law on his own initiative, faith Ivanovna would suffocate from indignation

After a stormy, but a short university novel with the supervisor who had a wife and two children, faith gave birth to a daughter. She dedicated her life. When Katyusha grew up, faith Ivanovna did not descend the eye from her: what if any heart spoil his daughter's life? "All the men want only one," she told Kate and drove one daughter's boyfriend after another. Only when a Tolik appeared in their house, the heart of faith Ivanovna ends. "This is he," his mother inner voice whispered. Appearance, manners, education - everything in the guy was "at the level." After a short courting, Anatoly made Katerina offer, and the mother gladly blessed her daughter for marriage.

To Katya and Tolik live, as a real family, faith Ivanovna releasing his two-room apartment for two studio and began to wait for grandchildren. After a few months, shining Katyusha reported Mother that she would become a grandmother. But the pregnancy proceeded hard, and the doctors warned Katya: if it wants to make a child normally, it should be kept - "about sex for a while forgetting." It seemed that my husband was treated for such a perspective with understanding. Was attentive, caring. But soon, Katerina found out that he walks to the sexual 38-year-old neighbor. In desperates rushed to the mother: how to be?

Vera Ivanovna as she could have calmed her daughter: they say, you never know that evil tongues chat. He herself called the son-in-law and caused him to the cafe "for a serious conversation." "What are you for your husband, if you can't keep your lust in the next child?!" - rushed into the attack, barely greeted. And scared: "You will not leave your old woman - you will regret."

WHAT IT IT expected from Anatoly, just not a quiet statement that "women under forty are not at all old women, but in sex know much better than other young people."

Like the current pierced Ivanovna faith. And the next meeting of the son-in-law she appointed at home - invited to "fix the mixer." And in gratitude "for the works" covered the table. Dear cognac, good music, a decolted dress of the mother-in-law made their business - Anatoly caught on the hook. And did not have time to come to his senses, as I found himself into her bed. "I'd better than someone else's woman, which ultimately ends her husband with my girl!" - Thought Vera Ivanovna, assuring himself, which makes a good cause. And so I thought Anatoly, one God knows.

With a 38-year-old passion, as was supposed, he broke up, and their meetings from the mother-in-law became regular. When Katya was laid in the hospital, Anatoly even remained at the Vera Ivanovna to spend the night. Preposition: the mother-in-law and the case of heart attacks. Could Katya think ill about the two closest people?! And calmly gave birth to a son.

Happy grandmother every day running to look at Egorch - so called the baby, helped her daughter on the farm, hired with her grandson. But once, sharply leaning over a children's bed, lost consciousness. A few days later, another fainting happened, and Vera Ivanovna was afraid: "This is a climax." But the doctor "reassured": not climax, but pregnancy.

Of course, Vera Ivanovna made an abortion. And now, looking at the younger grandson, with horror he thinks about what price paid for his life. Unable to cope with depression, she once came to a consultation to a psychologist: "As a look at the grandson, I remember my sin. Although put on yourself! But I wanted as better. "

Practical psychologist Elena Antonenko, remembering this story, said that she, unfortunately, was not exclusive: not one man searched intimate intimacy With another woman at that time, when his wife was carrying a child.

Statistics show that most often the first treason husbands do exactly when their wives are in the last periods of pregnancy or in the "postpartum period". It is explained by the fact that the man at such moments is experiencing a gamma of strangers to him: he appears anxiety for his wife and a future child, as a result - fear of careless movement during intimate proximity to something "there" to damage, oppress their own nonsense and sudden loneliness . After all, almost all the thoughts of his wife are busy with the upcoming event, and on the experience of her husband, she reacts somewhat removed.

But extramarital bonds arising from men during this period, as a rule, do not affect the family climate. Most likely, Anatoly threw his passion shortly after the category of childbirth. Intervention of faith Ivanovna complicated the situation. Yes, an invalid love for the only daughter pushed on unnatural actions. However, by replacing the body of "someone else's women", she not only aggravated the guilt of the "traitor", but also divided it. After all, in fact, betrayed his own daughter. And how she lives next to it, not a single psychologist will say.