How a woman can love herself: Simple tips. What does it mean for a girl to love herself and how to do it? Tips on how to love yourself to a woman

Each of us dreams of being a confident and self-loving woman, with high self-esteem and knowing her own worth. We are so used to focusing on something or someone.

I am often asked to give examples of loving couples, families in which a man and a woman have lived together for a long time. Of course everyone wants a prescription happy life... Be like that, do so and happiness is guaranteed. This of course has its own meaning, but we are all different. Each of us has our own story, our parents, our childhood. And with all our desire, we cannot become like someone. Each of us must go our own way and come to ourselves. Accept and love yourself. I think this is the most important thing that a woman should do for herself.

What kind of confident and self-loving woman is she?

Confident and self-loving woman:

1. He will never accept any gesture and look of a man at his own expense.She absolutely does not depend on the state and mood of the man. She clearly sees the line separating her from the man and his problems that have nothing to do with her. Confident woman will never worry about his partner's bad mood, blaming himself for something.

2. Will not demand attention and time from a man, let alone be offended by the fact that he does not spend day and night with her, because she understands that a normal man will not devote all his time and thoughts only to her. Otherwise, this is a typical Infant who has no worries of his own and is ready to devote himself entirely to a woman. Well, do you need one? You will quickly "suffocate" from his love and attention.

4. For her, in the first place she always remains herself, her own state, about which she sensitively cares and protects. After all, no one knows better than her that her emotional state largely affects her loved ones. That is, protecting herself, she thereby, takes care of those who are nearby. ... Only a rested, filled and calm woman can give sincere love and care, without demanding anything in return.

5. Will not fit into the life and affairs of strangers until she is asked about it.Simply, she is more interested in her own life, but she is always ready to help, to show compassion.

6. She perfectly feels her boundaries and personal space, and will not allow anyone to violate them without her consent. At the same time, she herself respects the personal space of other people.

7. Knows himself and calmly looks at the shortcomings of other people, understanding the individuality of each person.A person's dignity is a continuation of his shortcomings. Therefore, true self-love is about knowing and accepting yourself. This is an awareness of one's own capabilities and inner potential. By accepting yourself completely, you will learn to be more tolerant of other people's shortcomings.

8. Loving yourself means being in harmony with yourselfth, this is the ability to always hear the voice of the heart and know your inner world, this is self-confidence.

9. She will never allow to get lost, dissolve in relationships and partners, but he will not live only by his own interests to the detriment of others.

10. Always open to love, knows how to sincerely give love and accept it.

11. She always takes care of her mood and condition, even if others do not see her. She keeps her own life under control, feelings and emotions are always in her hands, which means that she does not have to keep the life and problems of someone else in focus.

12. Self-love is also the ability to live with dignity any, even the most severe painbut without taking on the role of a victim. This is the ability to accept pain, and not run away, deny, seize, search for other partners quickly. It is the ability to be alone, in your sadness and pain, allowing these feelings to flow inside.

13. Knows how to wait when it is required. She ponders well every word and action. Before doing anything, she often takes a break.

14. Knows how to choose the right men... She will never tie the fate of someone unknown, only out of a sense of loneliness or a thirst for love. In a man, she is attracted by human qualities, inner potential and his capabilities. That is, choosing a man, she is guided not by his attitude to her, but by the likelihood of whether she will be able to love him.

15. In a relationship, she does not wait for a man to break through to her heart, because she knows that women's grievances will sooner or later turn into walls of alienation. She can safely tell a man about her desires, about what she does not like, without fear of offending her partner and that he will leave.

16. Knows how to truly forgive and forget even the biggest offenses. She is always ready for dialogue, she is not afraid to be alone, to look like something wrong and is not shy about her own feelings.

17. Always in harmony with himself.She clearly knows that she is ready to give to her man, but is in no hurry to do this ahead of time. Doesn't try to be a "good girl" to gain love and acceptance. She does only what brings her pleasure and nothing for the sake of others.

18. Never open the world of mind to an unfamiliar man. She will not get carried away with him without getting to know him properly.

19. Will not twist all the moments of communication after a date a thousand times.Trying to understand the inner world of a man. She does not strive into the depths of the male soul to unravel some of his secrets. She is completely uninterested in building her assumptions about his actions or words.

20. She does not need to assert herself in the eyes of her partner.

21. Can be absolutely happy without a man. Her state of mind has nothing to do with his absence or presence nearby. Published.

Irina Gavrilova Dempsey

If you have any questions, ask them

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consumption - together we are changing the world! © econet

Oh, not only books on psychology, but yours best friend Lucy insists that without confidence and self-love, there will be no career or female happiness in your life? Because the "bluebird of luck" will never sit on hunched shoulders ...

And if you still have a complex about sparse hair, not "outstanding" priests or the position of "senior assistant to junior janitor", then it's time to finally figure out how to love yourself for a woman.

But first, let's get into an imaginary time machine and find out where your self-doubt comes from.

3 main reasons why you may now be thinking about how to love yourself for a woman

Dislike in childhood.

Have you been told that you are the best girl in the world, the most capable and beautiful? Did you take you to some children's play and teach you how to ride a bike? Then you are our client! Moreover, most often, a woman's low self-esteem is formed by her father, because on the basis of relations with him, the young lady then builds relationships with the entire male sex. Or did the father leave the family altogether? Your story?

“Dad left the family when I was 8. He didn't give me much, I missed him! And so I, an adult 32-year-old aunt, being his guest, began to express complaints to him for the first time in my life and received the answer: “My girl, yes, I am guilty before you. But if you, an adult woman, have not "digested" childhood grievances, then you will not go far in life. " Tough, but true! "

This is the very case when you need to "understand, forgive and let go."

Another friend of the author of the article came to unconditional love for her parents only when her mother fell ill with a heart attack. In all this mess, worries about health loved one, resentment against him dissipated like morning fog. Should I wait for such a crisis situation in my life?

Toxic relationships.

A love partner could prevent you from falling in love with a woman in yourself, roughly "driving" on the flaws in character, appearance and way of life. But you must clearly understand: such an unworthy man speaks not to help you develop, but in his unhealthy interests, for example, to assert himself at your expense ("I am just handsome compared to her") or to lower self-esteem so that you they did not leave him ("Oh, who needs me at all?").

Remember: criticism is not a reason for action on the part of a woman, it is only a reason to think.

A normal self-sufficient man either calmly, delicately says that he is worried about a woman and together they come to a compromise, or beautifully, without scandals and tantrums, goes "into a foggy distance."

Force majeure in life.

Let's say you have an accident in which your face was hurt, you were fired from your job for incompetence, or your husband cheated on you with an 18-year-old girl. Yes, we agree, after this it is much more difficult for a woman to love herself. In addition to the professional help of a psychologist, it will be useful to get acquainted with the stories of people who have gone through similar experiences and have not broken.

5 useful life hacks from psychologists on how to love yourself for a woman

Keep a journal in which you note all the good things that happened to you during the day.

Yes, yes, even if it's a clumsy compliment from a pimply neighbor, delicious coffee at a new coffee shop, or just great weather. This will help to love first your life, and then yourself, as a woman.

Watch your posture and facial expressions.

If you move and look worse than Mymra from "Office Romance", then falling in love with yourself as a woman, you are unlikely to succeed.

Let go of old grudges against parents, colleagues, bosses, girlfriends, etc.

Do not ruin your emotional health with this negative: it will not penetrate the offenders, but it will knock you down, you will not be able to love yourself.

Observe the women around you who have definitely grown to love themselves.

Catch how they move, talk, laugh. Charm and confidence in their femininity emanate from them. Learn this and use it to your health!

There are no such enchantresses among your friends? Ok, then follow the example of famous women. So, the author of the article was always admired by Monica Bellucci and Irina Alferova.

When someone or something destroys your self-esteem as a woman, try to abstract yourself.

It’s better for those moments to have a few super positive moments in mind when you were inimitable, for example, at prom, on a date with the prettiest boy in class, or getting a promotion at work.

All of the above life hacks refer to the main one, inner work above a woman who wants to love herself. It needs to be supported by concrete actions.

10 clear ways to love a woman in yourself once and for all

As a purposeful young lady, in order to love a woman in yourself, you should not only ignore sarcastic remarks addressed to you and forget about the dark pages of your biography, but also:

Beautiful underwear, fresh manicure, styled hair - promise us that from now on they will become your constant companions to love yourself;

it is not necessary to buy yourself expensive, but certainly to the person's clothes.

Say no to inexpressive synthetic blouses from the market! In second-hand and stock stores, you will find wonderful natural fabrics from well-known European manufacturers.

do sport.

Please tell me how not to love and respect yourself if you found the strength after a hard day's work to work in training? We are generally silent about the pumped up ass, the embossed press and the tightened hands;

find yourself new hobbies, master new knowledge and skills.

And please let it be more than knitting, embroidery and cooking. How about pole dancing, playing bridge or poker, or going to the reading club? A woman living brightly simply has no chance not to love herself;

arrange yourself a professional photo session or order a portrait from an artist.

A true master of his craft will reveal to you such facets of femininity, charm and sexuality that you did not even know about! There is simply no chance not to love yourself!

take time for your health to love yourself as a woman.

No, you don't need to start the morning by leafing through a medical encyclopedia and looking for symptoms of some tropical fever, but annual fluorography, complete blood count, visits to the dentist and gynecologist are your must have;

be generous.

And show your generosity by participating, to the best of your ability, in social, volunteer, and charitable projects. Oh, the author of the article knows more than one story when a woman simply blossomed, thus found friends, and sometimes love.

So, Alena from the small Ukrainian town of Kamenets-Podolsky once went with a brave young veterinarian to catch a wild dog in order to sterilize it later. As a result, Palma was placed in the good hands of the new owners, and Alena - in the good hands of the veterinarian, like a beloved woman;

do a general cleaning of the house and make sure that you feel comfortable here.

No matter how trite it may sound, the order around you creates order in your head. You look, and throw in the dump all the gifts of your ex-husband, that old broken coffee maker and tattered jeans that you are ashamed to wear even on a hike. After that, it is easy for a woman to love herself;

give up excessive consumption of coffee, alcohol, smoking and you will have an additional incentive to love yourself.

For what? Yes, at least for willpower and a blooming, healthy look. Well ok, a glass of dry white on Friday night is allowed!

start each day not with lamentations, but with a smile to yourself and the world, even if it even looks like a grimace at first.

Well, if you "advance" so much that you meditate in the morning, read prayers (to whom what) or do yoga, we will definitely love you head over heels.

3 best books on how a woman can love herself: it will be deep feelings!

8 secrets of a woman who loves herself.

How do you like yourself? Advice for yourself.

Still not enough knowledge about how to love yourself for a woman? Or are you a real movie buff? Then catch a few films in the subject:

In search of self-love, the answer to the question "How can a woman love herself?" it is important to understand: the mission is feasible! Take advantage of our advice, special literature and, if necessary, the services of a psychologist, give yourself some time - and soon the world will sparkle with new colors especially for you, the queen of your own life!

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An individual is truly happy if he is loved and loves someone. True, not everyone succeeds in living in harmony with themselves and with others. Many people suffer from misunderstanding, humiliation, dislike, but cannot understand the reasons for their misfortunes. It turns out that the individual himself "programs" the people around him to bad attitude to yourself. The source of the problem is self-loathing. If a person wants to change, he should love himself and become a different person.

Individuals who do not love themselves can hardly count on the respect of others. People feel the inner mood of each other. There is a saying: what you radiate is what you get. If a person is not filled with spiritual content, he not only dislikes himself, but also dislikes other members of society.

Women more than anyone else need constant love and respect. After all, they live with feelings, and adoration of others inspires them to act. Representatives of the beautiful half of humanity need to be beloved wives, friends, mothers. Only love gives them a stimulus and is a source of inexhaustible energy. Women who do not receive love lose interest in life, fall into depression, and slowly fade. However, solving their problem is very simple - it should be. This psychological attitude will change their life and the attitude of the people around them.

If a person is unloved, then he is usually jealous and very envious. These negative qualities of character poison his life. You cannot be happy without love. You must live in harmony with the world around you and yourself.

How an individual who loves and is loved behaves:

• monitors his appearance;
• likes others, knows how to build friendly relations with everyone;
• always kind, helps others;
• easily finds a common language with people;
• knows how to take risks, acts actively and boldly;
• has a beloved partner, family, children;
• successful in business;
• has no addictions;
• constantly realizes itself in various spheres of social life.

1. Actions that cause a person to despise himself.

Not everyone manages to behave correctly in a difficult situation. Nobody is immune to mistakes. Sometimes people harass themselves because they cannot forgive themselves for their wrong actions. You cannot blame yourself for mistakes, because they are lessons through which people learn to live and understand life.

1. Inconsistency with the invented image.

A person wants to behave in any situation correctly and outwardly resemble the hero from his favorite book. Not everyone manages to live up to the ideal. Life is full of problems, they cannot be solved without making compromises with your own conscience. And outwardly to be like a star from the cover of a magazine is an unforgivable stupidity. After all, each person is interesting for his individuality.

1. Everyday difficulties.

People who face many problems on a daily basis cannot have a positive attitude towards the world and towards themselves. Everything appears to them in a black light. True, they do not even realize that the way out of a difficult situation lies in the plane of their relationship to themselves.

1. Failure of the outlined plans.

Sometimes a person works long and hard to achieve the desired result. It is not always possible to become the best and get what you deserve. Failures "undermine" people. If a person is defeated, he stops loving himself.

What is self-love and how is it formed?

Before learning to love yourself, it is advisable to understand what love is and under the influence of what circumstances it is born. Self-love is about understanding your essence and accepting all your shortcomings. The individual must know what he wants from life, why he lives. It is important to be aware of the reasons for your behavior, to accept your strengths and weaknesses of character without reproach. Loving yourself is constantly, rejoicing in your victories.

Love arises in the heart of a person, and is manifested in his actions. A child sees that his parents adore him if he hears approval and praise in his address. An adult shows his love with beautiful words and actions.

If the individual loves, then he acts. Love requires proof. This wonderful feeling arises from care, respect, self-sacrifice.

Is self-love selfishness?

Many people think that loving yourself is an unforgivable selfishness. This remark is incorrect. There is a difference between love and selfishness. To love means to sacrifice something for the sake of others, to be realized not to the detriment of the interests of loved ones. Selfishness is when a person is fixated on his own needs, and for the sake of his goals neglects the desires of other people.

Self-love cannot be selfish. After all, it is completely spent on making the life of relatives more happy. A loving individual cares not only about himself but also about others. Real feeling, without a shadow of obsession and egoism, always attracts reciprocity. An egoist pushes people away from himself, especially if they do not need them.

How to love yourself: 5 steps towards yourself and simple rules for every day

If a person suffers from low self-esteem and feels that he is not sympathetic to others, he needs to learn to love himself. This is very easy to do. You need to work on yourself and change a little.

1. Pay attention to your appearance every day, take care of yourself.
2. Find an interesting occupation, realize yourself in society.
3. Believe in yourself, do not give up in difficult situations.
4. Solve problems on your own.
5. Lead an active lifestyle, practice your favorite sport.

If a person wants to love himself, he needs to become an interesting person. It is not enough to look good, even though it is important for raising self-esteem. An individual must fill his life with something interesting, find something to do. You cannot lock yourself in four walls or in the circle of your endless problems. It is necessary to destroy the obstacle that prevents you from seeing and feeling the world. A person must receive deserved praise and respect from others.

Simple rules for every day to help boost your self-esteem:

• train yourself to smile every day;
• find in your character and appearance pleasant features and focus on them;
• write an action plan for the day, and summarize in the evening;
• update your wardrobe, get rid of old-fashioned things;
• bring the work started to the end;
• do not be afraid to look or act outside the box;
• learn to stop the flow of negative thoughts, think only about the good;
• watch your appearance, if necessary, change your hairstyle, lose weight, sign up for the gym;
• always keep your posture correctly, do not slouch, do not lower your head;
• get more rest;
• please your body with beauty treatments, sauna, massage;
• walk around the room naked once a week - this will get rid of many complexes;
• learn to accept compliments;
• don't judge yourself harshly for mistakes;
• always defend your rights;
• never talk about your shortcomings with friends;
• do not silently accept a bad attitude towards yourself;
• read more, watch interesting programs, go to theaters, restaurants, cafes;
• create with your own hands - draw, cook, sew clothes, make furniture;
• watch your speech, do not allow negative statements;
• meet more often, communicate more;
• do not compare yourself to anyone;
• do not put others on pedestals;
• give compliments to people, give gifts to loved ones.

If a person wants to tune in a positive way, he must think positively. All thoughts are material. Words and phrases spoken by an individual in the context of an unpleasant conversation subsequently affect his inner state. Having uttered special words that give commands to the subconscious, you can return yourself to a positive channel after a quarrel or a showdown. Such phrases are called affirmations.

Affirmations to normalize your mood:

“I am calm and nothing will upset me. I accept life and people as they are. I love this world. I only think positively. I have the strength to deal with any problem. Any trouble is easy for me to overcome. I'm not offended by anyone. The deeper I breathe, the more energy I have. I feel great. I am happy and calm. I have everything in my life. I love myself and the people around me. "

Books on the topic "How to start loving yourself?"

Many people want to change and make their lives a little better. True, desire alone is not enough. You need to know what actions to take, what to do in order to become a happy and loved one. Knowledge about the self-development of an individual can be gleaned from books on personality psychology. You can find psychological literature on the topic “How to Love Yourself” on the Internet or in bookstores. Thanks to books on self-development, people will learn to understand themselves, their thoughts, desires, and analyze their own actions. With understanding and acceptance of your "I" comes love for yourself.

How to love yourself - interesting books on psychology:

• Louise Hay's Album of Healing Affirmations;
• M. Ye. Litvak “If you want to be happy”;
• Loretta Breuning "Hormones of Happiness";
• Anne Lamotte, Small Victories;
• Alice Muir “Self Confidence”;
• M. Labkovsky "Love yourself with any appearance";
• A.V. Kurpatov “12 non-trivial solutions. Find peace in your soul. "

Dale Carnegie's bestseller How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is considered to be the most famous book that has helped many people become happy. In this work, the author gives readers valuable advice that can change their lives for the better.

American psychologist recommends getting rid of the painful mistakes of the past in a simple way - in the mind to lock negative thoughts behind an iron door. You can not exhaust yourself with what has already been done and cannot be corrected. Faced with a difficult situation that threatens with big troubles, it is advisable to present the denouement in black colors. If an individual comes to terms with the idea of \u200b\u200ba possible loss, it will be easier for him to accept reality.

Whatever the problems, you should not overestimate their importance and worry too much. In the end, the worst thing that a person can expect is death, but it is inevitable. You need to deal with worries and anxiety with the help of positive thoughts. Thinking about good, an individual develops a mood that brings him only joy and happiness.

Dale Carnegie recommends that all people who want to get rid of their worries do something. If you sit around all the time, you can't get away from negative thoughts. A hobby, a favorite hobby, a useful business will help get rid of depression.

It is advisable to get rid of bad habits. True, this is not so easy to do. The author of the book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" advises replacing bad habits for useful ones. Instead of smoking, you can, for example, train yourself to do squats or eat an apple.

Why is it so important to stop worrying about trifles? As a rule, those who are too vulnerable and suffer from low self-esteem and self-dislike sensitive people... Their lack of self-confidence is a derivative of a bad mood. The internal state of a suspicious person is associated with various worries and unsupported fears. It is advisable to switch your attention to other people or your favorite pastime, so as not to worry about trifles and not torment yourself with far-fetched problems. The main thing in gaining self-confidence is daily work on your own shortcomings. If you do nothing, you will not be able to change your life.

If a person wants to become happy and gain the respect and love of others, but he cannot do it on his own, it is necessary to seek help from a practicing psychologist.

I know why you are here and how you feel now. You are tired of dissatisfaction with yourself (externally and internally), of situations that do not change over and over again, of the fact that you have to endure and bend ... "Urgently awaken love for yourself" - that's what I would prescribe to you if I were a doctor. But what does it mean love yourself and how to do it?

I will try to explain everything clearly and step by step. I just want to ask you to prepare a pen and a notebook, because you are waiting for practices that require work on yourself. Yes, yes, it is not easy to become happy and not so easy to kindle love for yourself. Therefore, run for everything you need (you can even grab cookies with tea) and sit down as soon as possible.

The main reason for self-dislike is low self-esteem. In order to increase and strengthen it, you need to work hard on yourself every day!

How does it feel to love yourself?

Every woman needs to learn to love herself with unconditional love. What does it mean? It means that you need to love yourself for no reason ... And how to do it - you will see further.

All you have to do is accept yourself with all your advantages and disadvantages unconditionally. I know how difficult it is to come to terms with the shortcomings: when everyone notices your burr; when the ribs protrude from under the clothes; when you limp or slouch due to injury. But what can you do here?

Therefore, it is important to start the path to yourself as a valuable person in order to experience ease with every step. And this is an ongoing process, and you must not stop!

How does unconditional love differ from conditional love? The latter generates a desire to prove to everyone that you are better and capable of much. Conventions are always accompanied by selfishness, pride and narcissism. But this path does not lead to happiness.

According to the psychologist N. Kozlov, only taking care of oneself, carried out with joy, releases the inner light of a woman and makes her attractive and desirable. Do not confuse self-worth and the desire to enjoy life with selfishness. If we compare one state with another, then the egoistic aspirations of a person can be expressed by the thought: "Everyone owes me, because I am better," and self-respecting ones: "I am wonderful and unique, like everyone else."

What else distinguishes a woman with a healthy positive attitude towards herself from an egoist or a person who is too critical of herself:

• she performs any work with the soul, her actions are devoid of automatism (fully conscious);
• she does not seek to make her happiness loud;
• she is altruistic, but without prejudice to her own interests;
• she does not take on overwhelming tasks;
• she values \u200b\u200bher time and is familiar with the principles of smart delegation.

Carrying yourself into the world as a rare work of art, respecting your unique qualities and preserving your individuality - this is what it means for a person to love himself. But how to love yourself as a woman?

Causes of low self-esteem in women

The girl begins to evaluate herself from the perspective of "I am everyone else" even before the beginning of puberty. But if in childhood the criteria for such a match are primitive: “He who loves me is good,” while adolescents have different standards. The girl already looks at herself from the standpoint of “everyone else” and defines her attitude towards people in terms of her own behavior.

When committing anti-moral acts or those that are considered to be such in this family, the teenager is inclined to condemn himself "for sins", attaching exaggerated importance to them. There is self-rejection, a sharp rejection by the girl of her "dark" side, or, even worse, a subconscious belief that she is "not worthy of the best." In the absence of psychological contact with the mother and help from her, this belief can develop into a life attitude and chronic self-dislike.

The second reason preventing a woman from being herself is laid even in early childhood, when parents, out of good intentions, begin to inspire the girl with what she should be and what she should not. By manipulating his love for his parents, a child is deprived of the right to individual traits. The skill of hypocrisy is presented to the girl as a means of being in demand and convenient for others. Having mastered this science completely, the teenager also gains a number of advantages, and wearing masks becomes habitual and comfortable.

The wonders of disguise, or how to escape from yourself

When a woman is not satisfied with her life, she seeks to change the external conditions of the main factors of her dissatisfaction, while she should first understand the origin of each of these factors. An inattentive (lazy, aggressive) husband, a problematic job, a bad friend, are a thing of the past and what appears in return seems more bearable and acceptable. But soon the situation surprisingly returns. Why is this happening?

The fact is that correcting the external circumstances of her life, a woman forgets that those traits of her character and worldview, which have once attracted negative events into her life, have not gone anywhere. And just as the removal of acute symptoms does not cure the disease, but only makes it less noticeable, a change in environment and environment will only temporarily bring relief, creating the illusion of well-being. After all, if a woman does not learn to love herself, the new husband will not respect her as well as the old one, and interesting work will soon turn into a tiresome routine.

It is necessary to understand that harmony is a very important component of an integral self-sufficient personality; it does not form around a person in the form of an aura that magically changes everything around. This coveted balance, transformed into external beauty, peace of mind and, as a result, into a magnet for positive events and good people, comes from the woman's peace of mind, her self-acceptance and love for herself.

Alarming symptoms of dislike

What is the manifestation of self-dislike? Below are 10 points that highlight the key points of a woman's lack of self-esteem:

• inability to accept compliments, embarrassment about this and attempts to “reduce the degree” of someone else's admiration;
• denial of small pleasures to oneself, arguing that “others need it more”;
• looking for flaws (bad skin, gray hair) at every glance in the mirror;
• denial of their achievements, belittling of dignity;
• the onset of a feeling of shame, if something “superfluous” (dessert, new handbag, manicure) was allowed to oneself and a promise to oneself that “this will not happen again”;
• excessive concern about someone else's opinion, condemnation;
• “Getting stuck” for months or even years on the negative moments of life - someone's death, failed romance, insults;
• fear of showing outward individuality in dress or behavior;
• fear of changing something in life - getting a high position, going to an unfamiliar country, getting a new education;
• tension in the society of unfamiliar people or colleagues in a higher position, involuntary currying favor with them in order to earn their approval.

A woman who does not agree with her appearance and character, who thinks that everyone else is much more beautiful, smarter and more successful than her, is very sensitive to any criticism. A reason to think that she is being “bullied”, “survived” or “hated” may even be a colleague's remark about an unsuccessful manicure or “arrows” on tights.

We correct and clear consciousness

How to awaken a woman in yourself? Psychologists say: just as you can't decorate a room littered with garbage, you can't try to improve your life, filled with old resentments and negative thoughts. Therefore - first of all - a woman needs to get rid of what has so far filled her life, but did not make her better. You can do this mentally by connecting visualization, but it is best to get down to business thoroughly.

We need to get a small cardboard box and write on it in large letters: "Everything that spoils my life." Then, having cut paper strips from notebook sheets, you need to try to fill as many of them as possible with various negative emotions, bad thoughts, old events and even the names of people who have left an unpleasant aftertaste in your memory. Example of writing on paper strips:

• Seryozha from 7th grade who laughed at me;
• my extravagance, which everyone uses;
• quarrels with dad over the car, etc.

It is necessary to extract from memory as many of these "fragments" as possible, constantly wounding the soul. When there is not a single hidden resentment left in the head, the notes, in turn, are taken in hand, read loudly and sent to the box. With a sealed "box of negative" you can do anything bad - trample it, throw it into a wall, throw it off the roof, in the end, but in the end it must be destroyed without a trace, throwing it into a fire or drowning it in a swamp.

A letter to the past

Despite the successful completion of the first stage of "cleaning", the women must have lingered in their minds and did not cease to sharply remind themselves of the most difficult moments of her life. As a rule, those episodes that could develop in a positive way are most painfully "sitting in the memory", if they follow a slightly different scenario. How is it usually? “If it hadn't been for that quarrel after the party, we would not have parted”, “If my friend had listened to me then, we would not have stopped communicating.”

Such thoughts are capable of poisoning the whole existence, therefore they are very dangerous. Forcing yourself not to think about them is unrealistic, but you can deprive them of the power that is called "empty regrets."

Left alone, a woman must first allow painful thoughts to prevail over others. It can be very painful, but the need for this measure is justified by the opportunity to look at the situation from the distance of time passed. Was that guy's offense that caused the quarrel so terrible? Could he have done otherwise?

The outcome of renewed experiences should be a letter to the person, the memories of which are so painful, but at the same time it will become a letter from the woman to herself. In your message, it is appropriate to throw out all the accumulated emotions, ask for forgiveness, explain yourself. The main thing is that later, burning the sealed envelope with the letter, the woman felt relief and a desire to move on.

Learning to love yourself

Now that all the bad things from the past have been humiliated and forgotten, it's time to fill your head with only useful and pleasant knowledge about yourself. How to love yourself as a woman? Of course, realizing that there is no other, and everything that is part of such a unique personality is wonderful and beautiful by definition.

How a woman can increase her self-esteem and confidence:

• memorize 2-3 suitable affirmations for uplifting and repeat them often;
• make a rearrangement in your home exactly as you have long wanted;
• take care of yourself every day (make masks, manicure-pedicure), despite fatigue or bad mood;
• review the wardrobe and get rid of everything that for a long time was simply a pity to throw away;
• at least once a day do what you really want to do - eat ice cream, watch a movie, etc.

It is worth taking into account the following fact: in no film or book the main character does not succeed by choking on an unloved job or meeting an unpleasant person. All good events begin to happen with drastic changes and only after the hero has revised his life values. Output? What is tiresome or annoying does not fit into the same format as well-deserved happiness.

We read and recognize ourselves

At the pace of modern life, it is difficult for a woman to find time to attend trainings and seminars on personal "re-training", and independent study of the subject is often impossible due to a lack of understanding of how to understand the mass of the offered literature. Psychology books for women that are worth reading at the very beginning of the path of self-knowledge are classics of popular literature, and their authors are gurus modern science relationships:

1. Ute Erhardt, a German psychologist who breaks down stereotypes, and his book “ Good girls go to heaven, and the bad ones go wherever they want ... "
2. Victoria Isaeva, journalist and specialist in family psychology with the work "We and Men".
3. Bert Hellenger, psychotherapist, philosopher and author of psychological techniques with the book "The Springs of Love".

These famous works will not only acquaint a woman with the “correct” everyday psychology - how to love her body, learn to respect herself and watch her thoughts - but also open up the world of other people's motives and secret thoughts.

Separately, I would like to highlight the work of the master of positive thinking Alexander Sviyash “90 steps to a happy life. From Cinderella to Princess ”. The work can be safely called the answer to the question of how a woman can love herself. The book is written in an interesting style and perfectly stimulates you to achieve.

How to love yourself as a woman? There is no definitive answer to this question, but there are certain rules, adhering to which any seeker will forget how to think of herself in the background:

• you need to unconditionally accept the fact that everything that happened in life should have happened exactly this way, and not otherwise;
• it is not necessary to see the ideal in other people, but there should always be someone ahead whom you would like to catch up and overtake;
• learn to take care of yourself, seeing this not as a necessity, but as a source of pleasure;
• you should more often compare yourself today with yourself yesterday and with a positive note any positive dynamics;
• it is necessary to avoid falling under the influence of such social egregors as television, political parties, fashion, etc.

Many women find that their lives have improved dramatically after they stopped clinging to their comfort zone and allowed themselves to be carried away by other interests, ideas, and pleasures.