07.10.2020

Why do I want to cheat on my husband. I want to change my husband: what to do? Feel like a real woman


Women who think about how to cheat on their husbands are most afraid of the consequences.

But your spouse can be blissfully unaware if you act with caution.

I want to warn moralists right away: you better close this page immediately after reading the title, because today I will teach women, no, not bake pies, please men and preserve beauty for their sake.

Today I will teach women how to cheat on my husbandso that he doesn't know about it.

I am a shameless creature, right?

But to moralists, I want to say: if I prepare material about something, it does not mean that I recommend doing it.

The owner of a pastry shop can be on a strict diet, but at the same time selling sweets, the seller in a sex shop may well be a traditionalist in sex and, under pain of death, will not agree to try the little things that he offers to customers.

The point is that if there is demand, then there must be supply.

I am glad that you are a faithful wife.

I am glad that you are a man who has got a faithful wife.

Thank the higher powers for this and save your nerves by saving yourself from reading the article.

My tips for those who will definitely need them.

I want to cheat on my husband, but I'm afraid ...

As often happens (especially recently), I was prompted to write this article by a conversation between two girlfriends in a cafe.

If you decide to cheat on your husband, then you have your own reasons.

This is your business and your right, which I am not going to dispute.

The only thing I ask of you is to make sure that you are ready to cheat on your husband psychologically and understand all the consequences of such a step.

Even very cautious lovers can be exposed.

There is no guarantee that your husband will not find out that you have decided to cheat on him.

It is possible that he will not be able to forgive you, and you will lose him.

Are you ready for this outcome of the situation?

Will you regret what you did?

An experienced doctor urologist is discussing whether the game is "worth the candle"

in the following video:

It's not too hard to understand how to cheat on my husbandso he doesn't know about it.

It is much more difficult to find a compromise with your conscience, because women are monogamous creatures who are quite capable of living their whole lives with one man.

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Hello Woman!

I will not condemn you or dissuade you, beg you to change your mind and not offend your unhappy husband. You made a decision long ago. I also accept it and even approve of it to some extent, because if a wife went to treason, something is clearly wrong with her husband. Has he become a lazy dirty animal that does nothing around the house, only spoils the air and demands to eat? Not washing for weeks and changing panties on holidays? Agrees to have sex once a month, does it in 5 minutes, and then runs off to the computer again or pretends to be dead? Congratulations, you managed to connect your life with a typical dork. More precisely, I sympathize and sincerely wish not to get caught in treason. And so that the faithful would not suspect anything, I propose to act according to the plan and not make mistakes.

Allow yourself this

Society makes you think that only males are allowed to be polygamous and have everything that seemed more or less attractive to him. Relax and remember the kitties: in just a few days they can mate with several men at once, and none of them is somehow going to get depressed and class themselves among the fallen individuals. Stop reproaching yourself and calling yourself different swear words. Accept the fact that the ancestors of humans were monkeys, and we differ from animals in the ability to walk on two legs, talk and use tablets. But the instincts remained primitive, therefore, the female soul requires male attention, affection and high-quality sex.

It is not your fault that the legal spouse prefers to dump steam in the bathroom, watching the games of two gays when a hungry woman is waiting for him in bed. If he doesn’t want it, it doesn’t matter, there will always be those who want to whom someone else's wife seems to be the most beautiful and sexy lady on the planet. Of course, you can scold yourself a little for decency, because decent girls remain faithful to the last. Just don't get carried away with self-flagellation, it's not worth it. Lull your conscience? Agree with morality? Well done, now you can safely go free swimming.

Change of wardrobe

You want to pamper your beloved man with lace panties and black stockings so that he swallows saliva and turns into a lustful animal at one glance at you. And if the husband and the beloved are two different men? Do not put on the same for the faithful spouse grandmother's leaky pants, and run away to work or to a girlfriend in full dress? Of course, otherwise he will quickly figure it out.

If a victim or lover is on the horizon - only a prospect, the wardrobe needs to be changed gradually. Start with cute dresses and brand new lingerie, then add stockings and heels, replenish your makeup and choose a hairstyle. To discuss all changes with my husband and unobtrusively instill in him the idea that: “Here, they say, dear, how I am trying for you. I am losing weight, I am making up, I only wear skirts and dresses, and you, such a beast, don’t even blow your mustache. And if you don't give a damn, I will at least show off in front of my colleagues. Let all the friends bite their elbows and envy how I have become prettier. "

Gradually, he will get used to the idea that his wife has another crisis or hormones are seething. Suspiciousness dull, as well as attentiveness. Then you can proceed to the second point of the plan.

Choosing the right victim

Yes, I know that the heart is a stubborn muscle, and even without sympathy, only lost young ladies jump into the bed, but love completely knocks off the brain and cloudes the mind. Maybe you like the handsome man from work or the smart coach, but you can't rush. You need to look closely, sniff, evaluate his mental abilities and moral principles.

A good lover should understand that it is bad to take his wife out of the family. You're not going to change the awl for soap yet, are you? Just sex and nothing else. Well, except for nice gifts, attention and care. Yes, you deserve.

A potential passion should be immediately informed that the woman is ringed, and the husband is jealous and distrustful. No messages while the lady is at home, and you shouldn't even talk about phone calls. They are strictly prohibited. Don't you want to accept these rules? Okay, let's find a more accommodating copy. I agree? Great, then he should take care of neutral territory, where you can meet and do dirty business. As a last resort, it is your responsibility. But remember: the slightest attempts to move to a more serious relationship should be stopped, and if the guy turned out to be too amorous, look for another candidate.

Yes, it can hurt, but it is necessary, because we decided to stay with my husband for now. You don't need emotional attachment.

And one more thing: it is better that friends, mother, neighbor and even that cute saleswoman from the store near the house do not know the lover. The fewer people know about its existence, the safer it is for you. A secret entrusted to the wrong person can ruin not only your marriage, but your whole life. Keep your mouth shut and play spy. Dot.

Self-development courses

You need a convincing excuse to come home closer to night and regularly go somewhere. For example, make-up or nail extension courses. Knitting or beading, various self-development trainings. Voice anyone: how to awaken your sexuality, awaken your inner goddess, or how to wear a long skirt correctly to stimulate your husband to earn more. In short, choose something purely feminine, time-consuming and expensive. The main thing is that the husband should not be interested in listening to your stories about mantras and energy flows, what is the difference between building up from gel polish and other boring topics.

If you want to be happy in marriage, then you need to work on yourself and constantly improve. It is easy to tell your husband what to do in a certain situation, but sometimes it is difficult to force yourself to do something. It is worth dwelling separately on infidelity, because this problem is typical for many families.

Someone wants to do everything to stay faithful spouse, but someone knows in advance that he cannot be with one person all his life. Women quite often, although rarely, this fact becomes known to others. How to restrain yourself if you know for sure that it will not bring you happiness? How to save a family and not harm a loved one? You will learn about this in this article.

Why does a woman have a desire to change?

First of all it is worth ponder about what it will give you in the end, and what such an act will lead to. Sometimes an intimate relationship on the side does not particularly affect the life of a husband and wife, but sometimes the marriage breaks up. If you really love a person, you need to foresee the possible outcomes of your betrayal in advance. Why do women cheat?

To prove husbandthat she is no worse than him, and that at any moment she can find herself a partner. It can also be falling in love, which is dangerous for marriage. In any case, a woman can make a choice and decide for herself: is the game worth the candle or not. If this is a casual relationship, then there is a high probability that it means nothing to you, and family happiness is something that is valuable and dear.

But if the betrayal happened on the basis falling in love, it is likely that such a relationship will last for a long time. Difficulty often happens due to the fact that a woman has not resolved the issue with her husband, but has already entered into a relationship with another man. You will have to constantly cheat, deceive and come up with new excuses, and this delays and turns into a lifestyle.

How not to cheat on your spouse?

1. This betrayal is not the last... You've probably heard that more often than not everything does not end with one, and the person again decides on a relationship outside of marriage. You can console yourself with the fact that this is only one time, and you will not allow yourself this more. In fact, only the first time a person crosses a certain line is problematic.

Further change much easier, and the feeling of guilt gradually fades away. If you do not want to ruin your marriage, you will need to think about it beforehand. The first time it seems to you that it is very bad, that the act will negatively affect family happiness, and then you stop thinking about it. That is why you should not forget about this before you decide to betray the trust of a loved one. Relationships on the side are addictive, but sometimes women think that this is stupidity and not true.

2. Think about your husband... This recommendation often helps women who want to change their beloved husband. Imagine how he will feel and what emotions he will experience if he finds out that you have cheated on him. In many families, the relationship between spouses is quite normal, but one of the couple wants new sensations, or has overshadowed old feelings of love.


Just try imaginehow bad it will be for your loved one, put yourself in his place. Memories of your pleasant moments of life together will be a great method. Scroll the events in your head more often, and chances are high that this will help you avoid mistakes.

3. Avoid dating someone you like... Perhaps this is your new employee or even your boss, neighbor or friend from the company - it doesn't matter at all, the most important thing is that you sympathize with him and feel the power of feelings. In order not to succumb to temptation, meet with this man less often. At work, ask to be transferred to another office, avoid tasks that involve communication with him. If this is a group of friends, then ask in advance whether this guy will be or not. It is better to spend time with a friend in a cafe, sipping a delicious cocktail and enjoying a delicious pie, than once again restrain yourself from wanting to have sex with the object of your adoration. As soon as you hear the name of this person, change plans and readjust to other events. If you have consciously decided that you should not cheat on your beloved husband, then approach the question competently, do not arouse physical desire in yourself once again.

4. Take up your hobby... Sometimes the desire to change appears due to the fact that the wife has nothing to do, and she is looking for adventure and new experiences. So that your life is not boring and monotonous, find something to your liking or pay attention to your favorite hobby. In the end, duck with a parachute, buy an exotic pet, or have extreme sex with your husband. Your hobby should bring maximum pleasure and distract from silly thoughts. Sometimes adrenaline allows a woman to avoid rash mistakes.

5. Build a relationship with your husband... If you notice that you often have a desire to cheat on your man, urgently change something in your relationship with him. This is necessary so that you feel in love and understand that this person is really dear to you. Go out together more often, have sex and do not forget about regular communication. The desire to change does not appear just like that, most often it is a consequence of problems in your relationship with your husband. If you are good with a man, you will not need another. In any case, think about what you are not happy with in your marriage and start making efforts to make a difference. Having sex with another man is not so difficult, but making the marriage perfect is a real work.

6. Seek help from a psychologist... In order to solve a problem of this magnitude, sometimes your own desire and aspiration is not enough. An experienced psychologist can help you shift your focus to something else and teach you how to control your body and emotions. Many women are embarrassed to turn to professionals, but in fact there is nothing terrible or unpleasant about it. You just share your problem, and a professional will give practical advice.

How not to cheat on your husband

How not to cheat on a guy? How not to cheat on your husband? How to resist the temptation and change?

These and similar questions are of great concern to many women and men, and when the springtime comes, when you so want to experience strong feelings, the issue of treason is most acute, so we are now receiving more and more letters from users with questions " How not to change? How to resist temptation? ».

The essence of desire to change

It would seem that everything is so simple: if you do not want - do not change, if you want - change, all adults themselves make their choice. Everything is so, everyone chooses and makes the decisions they want. But it's one thing when it comes to a sudden impulse and a simple desire " taste new flesh". It is difficult to overcome this feeling, but here everything is really much more primitive, since instincts are involved, it is much easier to fight them, since there is an opportunity to turn on your head and judge that there is this impulse for you, is the relationship with your spouse important to you, in a word, make a sober decision to change or not change.
But what to do if falling in love came, and with it the desire to change? Unfortunately, none of us is immune from strong and quivering feelings of falling in love. It is from falling in love, not love, that no one is immune. You can fall in love, even having a beloved husband or wife, but it is one thing to fall in love and be attracted, and quite another to succumb to these feelings and change your loved one.

This is called reeling a new tangle of relationships, but what to do with the old one and where to put it is not clear. Therefore, if you understand that a relationship with a husband or wife is really what you have, if you realize that attraction to another man or woman will not improve your relationship with your spouse, if you understand that the desire to be with another person is the desire to experience strong emotions that you have not experienced for a long time, but they attract you like a magnet, you must understand that this is only the result of cooling to your loved one, and in a long relationship this is normal, but requires work on the relationship.

We will not delve into the types of infidelity, but, nevertheless, we must remind you that infidelity, which occurs not from a sudden accidental impulse, but from falling in love, strongly pulls into a string of new relationships and rapidly destroys those others that you have already built with another person. So, you need to try with all your might to avoid betrayal and remain faithful to your partner. Since new relationships, as a rule, are fleeting and not strong, they are based on sex, and not on the closeness of partners in a spiritual sense.

How not to change

So we come to the main question " how not to change a loved one and not destroy a relationship ". First of all, in terms of meaning and correctness, we are forced to advise you to contact a specialist, you can contact a psychologist, or you can contact the specialists of our Love-911 service. Turning to specialists is important precisely because the feeling of falling in love and attraction to another man or woman is a rather strong indicator, a kind of indicator of an unfavorable position in your existing relationship. And in order to give really necessary and correct advice, you need to find out the reason why this happens in your particular case.
After identifying these reasons, you can get not just advice, you can undergo the necessary trainings and receive individual recommendations that will help you improve your relationship with your loved one and not just avoid irreparable mistakes in the relationship, but not repeat them and easily cope with such influx of feelings further.
If you want to take a risk and try to cope with feelings and fear of betrayal on your own, then here's what you need to know:

You must decide

Very often a man or woman only pretends that they do not want to cheat, they understand that this is bad, and it would seem that they know everything, but subconsciously they have already decided and understood for themselves that cheating will happen. And then they start a kind of game of cats and mice, they start playing, stalling for time, but, in essence, they do not do anything to change the situation, but on the contrary, build their relationship in such a way that betrayal becomes inevitable. More precisely, their behavior with their spouse becomes provoking negative emotions, but with the object of desire it is just the opposite, everything is like clockwork: pleasant communication, and pastime, and random touches, and pleasant compliments. In fact, this is all done in order to justify your betrayal, to honestly say to yourself, “ i am of course to blame, but if everything was fine with my wife (husband), then this would not have happened". That's how it is, but the relationship should not be destroyed, but built. Therefore, try to honestly admit to yourself whether you really want to avoid cheating or pretend.

2. It won't end with betrayal alone

If you have not cheated on your soulmate yet, then this is a positive and strong incentive not to do this at all. Correctly say that having changed once, further betrayal is only a matter of time. When you have not crossed the line, you are in the unknown, you want and feel scared at the same time, but there is something inside that holds you, but as soon as you change, something breaks in you, and then the betrayal is much more difficult to control. Even if you regret the betrayal, and it will be a negative experience, and you will understand that in vain, this is only temporary, then someone else and more will appear, and every time it will be more difficult, since there will be no such fear, who held you before, there will be only your will, which once has already let you down.

3. You need to think about your beloved man

If you really want to overcome your desire, and not indulge in dreams of another man, then do not think of cheating as a weakness that no one will know about. Think about how your partner will know what will happen, what feelings he will experience, what feelings you will experience, how you can look him in the eyes and how you can continue the relationship. How hard it will be for him to endure your betrayal. Try to imagine it most realistically, in all colors. Your consciousness will resist, so start imagining everything as if it is happening not to you, but to someone, and then transfer the finished picture to yourself, it will be easier, and you can imagine everything more realistic and closer.

4. Avoid meetings

Try to avoid meeting with the object of desire. We mean various innocent gatherings for two, an invitation to dine if, for example, you work together, or to take a walk by chance. You yourself doom yourself to the strengthening of this attraction, and it will become more difficult for you to fight it.

5. Understand the relationship with your loved one.

We have already said that falling in love and a desire to change with another man or woman is an indicator of a decrease in the level of intimacy with a loved one, so you need to start working on your relationship. Start chatting more, go somewhere. Start experimenting in sex, with role-playing games, moreover, it is better to come up with opposite roles for each other. Think about what attracts you to that other (other), maybe he (she) is very gentle (s) or, conversely, passionate, bring this into your relationship. Of course, I have to say that this is not as easy to do as it is to talk about it, but we did not say that maintaining relationships and loyalty in them is an easy task.

That is why our service is always ready to help you, provide support, give advice or prepare the necessary recommendations so that you can improve relations with your loved one.

Many experts are sure that, contrary to stereotypes, cheating does not destroy, but strengthens the marriage. “Often the lover takes on the role that sags in family relationships. For example, it compensates for the deficit of sex or emotional warmth, ”he said. clinical psychologist Alisa Galats.

But in order for the adulterer to really play his creative role, it is important to deal with oneself and one's forbidden relationships in time, without harming any of the members of the "love triangle". According to the expert, first of all it is worth answering the question: what do I want from the relationship "on the side?" Based on this, we can conditionally distinguish several types of betrayal.

* Impulsive treason ... Sexual adventures of this kind often happen at a party or on vacation and come as a complete surprise to ourselves. If you are not going to continue the affair, then the most correct thing would be to forgive yourself for treason and forget about it as soon as possible.

“Of course, as they say,“ accidents are not accidental, ”and in this case, you should think about why you were covered with passion at a corporate party, which does not suit you in a relationship with your husband. Perhaps this spontaneous adultery is a signal that you have something to work on in your marriage, ”explains Alisa Galats.

* Finding a new husband. If you see a potential husband in your lover and are already dreaming about how you will raise your kids, you should probably think about divorce. In this case, you will give a chance for a new, happy life to yourself and your spouse.

* Energy feed. This is a classic situation when a woman does not want to destroy her marriage, but for some reason, one husband is not enough for her happiness. And here the most important thing is to competently lead a double life without arousing suspicion from the spouse. Exceptions are open marriages, in which partners allow each other to have a relationship "on the side".

Now let's take a closer look at what rules should be followed so that your infidelity does not turn into a family tragedy.

* Approach adultery maturely and responsibly... Determine what you are getting a lover for, what good and useful he can bring to your life. Weigh the pros and cons of this step, assess the risks and possible consequences in the extreme case, if the spouse finds out about everything.

* Do not admit to your husband that you are cheating.Sometimes you really want to do it out of revenge or a keen sense of guilt. According to Alisa Galats, such emotional impulses must be immediately suppressed. “Confession of treason is just an attempt to shift responsibility for your actions onto the shoulders of a partner, who will suffer a lot and feel humiliated. Even if you manage to save your marriage after such frankness, your husband's trust will be lost for you, ”the expert explains.

* Don't tell anyone about your secret.If marriage is really dear to you, you should not discuss your love affairs "on the side" with colleagues, girlfriends or relatives. The fewer people are dedicated to this, the better. “Firstly, talking about treason, you undermine the authority of your husband in the eyes of others, and secondly, even the most devoted friends can accidentally let it slip, for example, having drunk too much at your place. Why put your life in dependence on strangers? ”- Alisa Galats comments.

* Set rules for your relationship with your lover. Discuss the rules of the game honestly with your lover, emphasizing, for example, that family is your priority and you would not want to destroy it. Agree on how often and at what time you can meet, how it is more convenient to contact you (phone, SMS, messenger, etc.). Ideally, you want a married, non-jealous man who is looking for what you are “on the side”.

* Be careful with your anonymity. You should not give your lover your home address and, moreover, accept it at home. Your home is the husband's legal territory, where no other male belongs. Also, you should not friend your lover on social networks, because then he can give you out active "likes" or comments. “If a lover and a husband somehow intersect with each other (for example, in social networks), this provokes them to compete with each other. And in this sense, a forbidden relationship can bring you a lot of problems, ”explains the psychologist.

* Pay enough attention to your family. No matter how much passion takes you, do not forget to take care of your husband and children as well. You should also not often deny your husband sex, this will only provoke jealousy and suspicion. “Let your lover not occupy the entire space of your life, but be only a part of it - like fitness, work or shopping,” says Alisa Galats.

* Hide evidence carefully. Remember, being able to perfectly cover your tracks is showing you care and respect for your spouse. Make it a rule to delete romantic SMS, throw away the presented bouquets, do not leave your computer and phone unattended, make sure that you do not smell of someone else's perfume or cigarettes.

* Respect boundaries... You should not discuss with your beloved husband, complain about life. Use your dating time solely for pleasure. And, of course, on the contrary, you should not break down on your family because of problems in your relationship with your lover.

* Less lies. "In order not to provoke suspicion and jealousy of your spouse, it is important that there is some truth in your stories about where you disappeared and who is calling. Then your behavior will be more natural, ”the psychologist believes. For example, if a gym workout is your prepared alibi, it really makes sense to go before or after your date.

What to do if you are nevertheless figured out?

Even if your husband caught you red-handed or found a lover in the closet, the main rule is to deny everything to the last. And do not be tempted by your spouse's promises to forgive you for the truth. Even if it does, the heartache of cheating will never go away. “In such a situation, the most important thing is to save the“ face ”of the husband, not to let him feel humiliated,” the expert explains.


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